Doctor Psychobabble

“You might not ever get rich
But let me tell ya it’s better that diggin’ a ditch.
There ain’t no tellin’ who ya might meet. .
A movie star or may be even an Indian Chief.”

- Rose Royce, from the song, “Car Wash”

I thoroughly enjoy manual labor. I believe this could be related to the fact that I grew up on a farm, and was shoveling manure, milking goats, gathering chicken eggs, and plowing fields as soon as I was physically able to do so. To me, getting dirt under my fingernails and working so hard that I break a sweat is one of best ways to “get some satisfaction.”

One of my most favorite menial tasks is washing my car. When I lived in a house and had access to a water hose and power supply to fuel my vacuum, I cleaned my car almost every week. It brought me great happiness to begin the project with a filthy, grime covered car, and end with a vibrant, polished piece of machinery.

When I lived in an apartment in Virginia, I no longer had access to a water hose, but there were many “self service” car washes in the neighborhood. So, although I had to take a trip to the car wash, I was still able to get my “clean on.”

Since living in New York City, I’ve noticed an interesting factoid. There are very few “self service” car washes. However, there are tons of “hand wash” car washes, where, for a small price, you can have your car cleaned by some very awesome car washing professionals.

Although I would rather do the washing myself, I continue to enjoy my monthly visit to the hand car wash. To me, it falls under the category of “things everyone has to do.” With the exception of very rich or very busy or very lazy, or a combination of all three types of people, us “everyday” folks all perform many of the same activities. We go to the grocery store. We go to the laundromat. We go to the car wash.

I’m slightly obsessed with the concept of daily/weekly/monthly tasks, which many people have in common. No matter who you are, you probably need your clothes washed, and you need food to eat. It doesn’t matter if you’re a banker, a lawyer, a bartender, a stay at home mother, a doctor, or a nail technician. These things have to get done. And for the most part, they all involve meeting in a public location to accomplish. I enjoy how the “necessity” of these tasks forces people from all walks of life to assemble in a common location, all with a common goal. I find it somehow humbling. And wonderful.

I hope you enjoy the photos along with this post. I took them all several days ago “at the car wash.”

Part of My “Yo Brooklyn, Fuhgeddaboudit” Photo Series

I have an incredibly low threshold for crying. I’ve had this “character flaw” my entire life. I am easily moved. I am an emotional being. I was just now leaving a comment on a fellow blogger’s website, where I posted the YouTube clip below. I watched it again (for like the hundredth time) and I cried again (for like the hundredth time). I am easily moved. I cry!

I received a flyer today in the mail from a company called Fresh Direct. After checking out their website, I realized that my new obsession has been born. Fresh Direct is a company, serving the five boroughs of New York City, which will deliver your groceries right to your front door for a very modest fee. You can also opt to pick up your groceries from the distributor in Long Island City for free. I spent about an hour on their website today, perusing all they had to offer. All I can say is that my life is now forever changed! They have HUNDREDS of different types of gourmet cheeses. They have a HUGE selection of fresh, organic fruits, vegetables, and seafood. They have almost 50 different types of popsicles. They have every different brand and flavor of hummus that a person could desire. This company was created for me.

I placed an order just now, and they are scheduled to deliver my groceries between 10 a.m. and noon tomorrow. Yes, you actually have the option of scheduling when you want your groceries to arrive, within a two hour window. If my groceries actually arrive within that window, my new life plan will be solidified. I think I might soon be going to OGSA (online grocery shopping anonymous) meetings. Seriously, this could easily get out of control.

In other news, there is a thunderstorm going on outside my windows right now. My doggies keep crouching in fear at the sound of the very loud claps of thunder. I have been consoling them with hugs and kisses for the time being. There’s nothing more revitalizing than a good ‘ole fashioned thunder storm. Yes, indeedy.

Photos:
1) My dog Scope protesting my pseudo-jail (trying to force him to eat) by sleeping in my makeshift “fence.”
2) My first “Death of a Stroller” photo taken in my new neighborhood in Brooklyn.

Part of My “Trash Talkin” Photo Series

I feel a little guilty lately because I haven’t written any stellar, life-altering or meaningful posts. But I guess that’s just because my life has been one Groundhog Day after another for a while.

Not that you asked, or care, but my days go pretty much like this:

- Wake up, drink coffee
- Go on a an 8-mile run/pee/poop with the dogs in the park
- Drink an awesome homemade smoothie
- Do USMLE World Step 3 questions (while occasionally forcing my dog Scope to sit on my lap at the same time and asking him which answer he thinks is right…which is always “C…” and he’s actually right about 20% of the time)
- Eat lunch
- Do more USMLE World Step 3 questions (sometimes I use my dog Molly, but she refuses to help with the questions)
- Cuddle with dogs, wash dishes, sweep up dog hair
- Do more USMLE World Step 3 questions (alternating between my two dogs)
- Eat dinner
- Reply to emails, blog, walk the dogs
- Watch some crappy television or a movie on Netflix
- Hit the sack
- Rinse, and repeat

I ain’t complaining in the least. While my days are incredibly non-exciting or novel worthy, I’m actually enjoying spending my time before residency studying and chillaxing. I guess I just feel bad that I don’t have any stimulating insights about medical stuff to share with the world. Don’t worry, though, I’m sure they will come soon enough.

Photo: Me and my dog Scope contemplating the answer to a practice question.

I just got back from a walk around my neighborhood in Brooklyn. I can’t emphasize enough how much I love strolling around my neighborhood. It’s a sensory orgy. I truly heart New York City. It’s definitely a city like none other.

The other day I was thinking about how I lived in Baltimore two years ago. I actually applied to complete my clinical rotations in Baltimore, and had already settled into my new apartment when I got the email that changed my life. My school was sending me to Brooklyn to complete my clinical rotations. I was very mad and upset and scared at first.

But the crazy part is that in retrospect, I am actually very glad that I was sent to Brooklyn. I had always wanted to live in New York City. And realistically, had I completed my clinical rotations in Baltimore, I likely would have ended up there for my residency as well.

Readers who are familiar with my chronic optimism might be tempted to say, “wait, Kendra, you would be happy no matter where you ended up!” And I am tempted to agree.

But there is also this fun, crazy, illogical side of me that wants to believe in fate. I want to believe that I was sent here for a reason. I want to believe that this is where I belong. Psychologically speaking, this is all probably just a confirmation bias.

But I do like to believe in Santa Claus, and fairies, and life on other planets, and calorie-free peanut butter pie. So why can’t I also believe in fate?!

Photos: Taken from the rooftop of my friend’s apartment building in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Since I moved to a new apartment almost two months ago, I have been without a washer and dryer in my apartment for the first time in about 16 years. At first, I thought that living without the luxury of an easily accessible way to wash and dry my clothes would be a huge inconvenience. However, since I have several laundromats within a short walk of my apartment, I’ve discovered that it’s really not that big of a deal. Plus, every single time I go to the laundromat, it’s an adventure.

Today at the laundromat, I had an inebriated man approach me and ask me for a dollar. I told him the honest truth, “I don’t have a dollar.” He said, “come on, I really need a dollar to buy a forty!” I replied, “I still don’t have a dollar.” He said, “come on, I need it for my arth-a-ritis!” I smiled and replied, “I’m sorry, I still don’t have a dollar, even if it’s a medical emergency.” He then walked away.

A few minutes later, a whole slew of police cars pulled up outside the laundromat. Police officers got out of their cars and started unspooling “Police Line Do Not Cross” tape around the laundromat. I realized that I was effectively trapped within a crime scene. Hundreds of people gathered around outside to see what was going on. I still have no idea what actually happened. But I eventually crouched underneath the tape and escaped the area with my clean laundry in tow.

Like I said, I heart the laundromat.

As an update to my last post, my studying for the USMLE Step 3 is progressing well. I’ve realized that trying to study for an exam of this magnitude in such a short period of time is actually quite insane. But as I stated before, I am kind of an insane gal. My goal is to do at least 200 questions a day, and so far that is working out well.

I was inspired today to create an artistic photographic project. My idea is to come up with very stereotypical scenarios, but to then change one item very drastically. My first idea involves baby slings, or what I think of as baby papooses. These have become incredibly popular in New York City, as evidenced by this site (Slings in the City), and there was an interesting article, written in the New York TImes, about this phenomenon.

I live very close to an area of Brooklyn known as Park Slope. It is well known as an area for predominantly caucasian, affluent, mid-thirties, well-educated parents with young children. A quick walk through Park Slope will immediately douse your visual system with images of youngish men and women “wearing babies,” walking their dogs, and buying stuff in trendy shops.

So, my spin on this stereotypical image is to replace the baby in the sling with a doggy in the sling. Of course, I don’t actually own a baby sling, so I had to make a very quick, makeshift one out of a fitted sheet. The images in this post are my first attempt at recreating the cliched image of a young mother, with her child in tow.

We’ll see how/if this project turns out. I’m excited either way.

Disclaimer: I actually think that baby slings, and contraptions to “wear your baby” are pretty cool, but I guess I like to put ironical spins on trendy things. Or something.

After much consideration, I have decided to take the USMLE Step 3 in about one month. What the heck is that, you ask? Well, it’s the very last of the Medical Licensing Exams that I am required to take, to prove that I know how to diagnose and treat patients in the United States. You must have your medical degree before you take the exam. Many states require that you also have 1-2 years of residency under your belt before you take it, but the lovely state of Connecticut (that’s the wonderful loophole) does not.

Most residents choose to take the Step 3 in their second or third year of residency. However, it turns out that I am not most residents. I have decided to take a leap of faith and sit for the examination prior to beginning my residency.

Now you may ask, why the heck would I choose to do that? Well, of course, I have my reasons. The primary one being that I’d rather get it over with now, instead of having to stress out over it during my already stressful and time constrained years of residency. In addition, other than 4 months of internal medicine and 2 months of neurology in my intern (first year) of residency, I will only be focusing solely on psychiatry and psychiatric patients during residency. The Step 3 tests on everything (medicine, surgery, ob/gyn, pediatrics, etc.). So, I feel that there is a better chance that I will do well (and have to study less) right now, when all of that information is still “fresh” in my mind from medical school.

Most people also usually take at least a few months to study for the Step 3. Again, however, I am not most people. I’m going to attempt to study my little tooshy off for the next month, and then sit for the exam. Will this crazy, harebrained plan work? I certainly hope so. One thing that I do have going in my favor is that I took a similar studying approach to both the Step 1 and the Step 2, and did well on both of them. So, if history does in fact repeat itself, I should succeed with this plan.

I mentioned in a previous blog post that I couldn’t register to take this exam because of my lack of funds. Well, it turns out that an anonymous donor (okay, it was actually my mother) made it possible for me to do so. Thanks Bob, I love you!

So, here goes everything. It’s goodbye to boredom, and hello to studying!

Photos:
1) Me with my USMLE Step 3 study book.
2) Micah on stage at his graduation.
3) Micah in his graduation garb.
4) Sunday at the after-grad party.
5) Sunday and Lizzy arm wrastlin at the after-grad party.
6) Kendra at the after-grad party.

Last Saturday, I went to something called the “Slideluck Potshow,” which is basically an awesome event where a bunch of photographers get together to show their work, and everyone brings food for other people to eat. It took place in DUMBO (Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass), which is an awesome neighborhood in Brooklyn that I should probably hang out in more often. The event was also intended to break the Guinness Book of World Records record for the largest potluck in history. I have yet to read whether or not it did so. But I certainly enjoyed the food, the photography, and being a part of something larger than myself.

On Sunday, I drove down to Baltimore for my parter Micah’s graduation from art school (his MFA in Fine Arts at MICA). I had an excellent time at the ceremony, and particularly enjoyed the guest speaker, Stefan Sagmeister. He is a well known artist and one of those terrific public speakers who has the gift to make you laugh and make you think, all at the same time. You can watch one of his Ted Talks Here. It’s based on a very cool project that he’s created called, “Things I Have Learned in My Life So Far.”

Looking at his project inspired me to think about the many things that I’ve learned in my life so far. In fact, I decided to create a category devoted to this idea on my blog. This will be the first of hopefully many posts, where I think about, and share “Things I Have Learned in My Life So Far.” Here goes everything:

“Once you love yourself, your love for the rest of the world grows exponentially.”

Photos:
1) The Slideluck Potshow display outside, under the Manhattan Bridge.
2) DUMBO. Under the Manhattan Bridge.
3) Micah and his parents after the graduation ceremony.
4) Me during my improvisational “dancing with a balloon” show at the Duplex, in Manhattan.

Now that I have crossed over from being a lowly medical student to being a lowly resident and doctor, there are many things that have been on my mind. Since the inception of this blog, one of the biggies has been how much information to share with the world. On my previous blog, I shared quite a lot of personal information, and even more on the blog before that. I’ve quite intentionally put a little bit less identifying information on this blog so far.

However, I am still currently sharing quite a bit of information with the world. I have published: my first and last name; the location where I live and will soon be working; photos of myself; and of course, photos of my doggies.

Soon, I will be back in the hospital, and I will have actual, real, 100 % alive, patients of my own. I still have the desire to share (100% HIPAA friendly) patient stories, and stories about my own life.

However, I have read horror stories about bloggers being fired from their place of work because of sharing too much information online. I am also acutely aware of the fact that my patients may be able to find me on the “Internets.” If you were my psychiatric patient, would you want to read all about my personal happenings online? Exactly. I’m not sure that everyone would. Or should.

But I have always been a bit of an exhibitionist, I guess. Really, anyone who has a blog could be accused of that. I enjoy sharing all of my adventures with the world. I enjoy sharing my thoughts and personal anecdotes with complete strangers.

So, I am caught in this strange “virtual limbo.” I want to share everything with the world, but at the same time, I have a (professional?) need to remain anonymous, and keep myself somewhat hidden in the shadows. Such is my current state of cognitive dissonance. We shall have to wait and see how I manage to balance these two opposing forces.

In writing this post, I was reminded of my partner’s Thesis Project. It basically touches upon this idea of trying to balance two, opposing needs: the desire to participate in and share with the world and the desire to remain private. I encourage you to check out his work (it’s still currently on his development website). I actually helped him quite a bit in the creation of this project!

Photos: Taken today at Prospect Park. My little slice of heaven.