An Emotional Train Wreck
Today has been a stressful day for me. It really didn’t have to be, but I made it one because of my “OCD-ness” (more on that in a sec). I woke up early this morning with about a million things to get accomplished. You see, today is the last day before the first day of the rest of my life.
I go in for my first day of residency orientation tomorrow. And I will be busy almost every day after that for the next year. No, not “really,” but it certainly does feel that way right now. I can be an anxious person, and the anxiety has been adding up lately.
I will refrain from giving you all the grueling details, but let’s just say it’s been “one of those days” where nothing goes like it’s supposed to. I had to print out a passport photo for my medical license application so I could get it signed by a notary. But my printer was out of ink, and all of the notaries were closed. I had to buy a “snake” to unclog my toilet but when I got it home, not only did it not work, but it totally scratched up my toilet. I needed to buy some professional “work” clothes, but nothing I tried on fit right. I had to do my laundry, but all of the dryers were full and it was about 8 billion degrees in the laundromat. Anyway, I complain a lot.
I received an email from a reader of my blog today. The subject of her email was “trainwrecked before a rotation.” Of course, I’m not sharing the details, but the gist was that she has been on an emotional roller coaster lately, and she’s scared of starting her next rotation.
The thing is, this exact scenario has happened to me. I also do not want to share my personal details, but the gist is that I was also on an emotional roller coaster immediately before an elective rotation about a year ago, and I ended up canceling it to take some time to “gather myself.”
The point of all this is that we all have are an emotional train wreck at some point in our lives. We wouldn’t be human if we weren’t. And it can make functioning (especially in a work environment) incredibly challenging. Sometimes, it’s too challenging, and we have to take some time for ourself. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. But sometimes, we are able to “overcome” and press on, and do our very best to maintain.
Today was crappy, but not so bad that I can’t overcome it. In fact, I’ve now completed almost all of the tasks that I wanted to accomplish today. So, I feel confident that I can start my first day of orientation/residency tomorrow with relative “ease.”
But what I wanted this reader of my blog to know is that she is not alone. We all face these moments. And there need be no shame in taking time off if that’s what we have to do. But sometimes we also have to “pull ourselves up by our boot straps” and continue on our journey. And sometimes, distraction can even help us to do so.
To quickly (I still have so much to do tonight) elaborate on what I meant earlier in my post. I used the term “psychobabble” quite intentionally in the name of my website. I consider it to be a double, and backwards entendre. (Okay, I’ll explain that later.) But many people use the term “OCD” to mean “perfectionistic.” Technically, obsessive compulsive disorder is just that…a disorder. And to meet the DSM criteria means that it has to significantly interfere with your daily life. For me, it can cause a lot of anxiety, but does not “significantly” interfere with my daily life. In fact, it usually helps me get stuff done. Okay, that’s the short story. More on that to come later.
Time to finish my “daily crap!”
Photos:
1) An interesting “trash pile” seen on my walk today.
2) A dead pigeon seen on my walk today.