“A morning-glory at my window satisfies me more than the metaphysics of books.”
- Walt Whitman
I am ridiculously, ridiculously tired and delirious right now. I am post call. Didn’t sleep a wink last night at the hospital. And due to my moving and working and everything else, I have barely sat down in a week.
I would be sleeping right now but my super is coming to install my stove and fridge. And fix my tub. So here I am. It’s almost noon and I have slept about 2 hours in the last 50 hours and I have toothpicks propping my eyelids open waiting for the super to come at 1:00.
Trying. To. Hold. On.
I do like my new apartment. I am EVEN closer to a subway station. I literally live right on top of the station. And now I have a perfect view of the subway platform from my kitchen window. Makes for great people watching. Hoping to have an entire photo series of this view.
Back to metaphysics…
I have been going back and forth in my mind for the past week about whether or not to share something personal on my blog. When is something just too personal to share with the whole world? Is it even appropriate? But I have 2 major problems with not sharing. 1) It will be hard for it not to just come out accidentally in one way or another and 2) whether it’s appropriate or not, my blog is my therapeutic space. I can talk about stuff to my friends all night and day but for some reason, it feels so good to type it all out.
Anyway, here goes.
One week ago my partner and I decided to separate. We are still figuring out exactly what that means. But as I had actual time to move and such, I forfeited visiting my family for Thanksgiving and have instead spent the last week acquiring a new apartment, moving in, acquiring furniture, putting stuff away, and doing all those daunting things involved with moving to a new place. It’s been a fatiguing whirlwind few days.
So, there it is.
I’m now basically moved in and just got internets, so am finally able to catch up on my emails and other activities. I have to go into the hospital tonight for call.
I don’t even know how I feel about everything right now. Basically I’m trying to stay busy so I don’t have to think.
That is all for now. Hopefully once I get back into my daily routine and go for a few long runs (I have been too busy to do so for the past week), things will all start falling into place.
Photo: My doggy Scope hiding under the covers, pre-move.
“I was five and he was six
We rode on horses made of sticks
He wore black and I wore white
He would always win the fight
Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.”
- Lyrics From Nancy Sinatra, “Bang Bang”
Too delirious post-call to write. Photo taken on walk home from the hospital this morning.
“The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream.”
- Harry Kemp
“I’m convinced that in New York City, there are more 99 Cents stores than there are people.”
- Dr. Psychobabble
“I had no idea that I needed a a singing and dancing Buddha until I found one at the 99 Cents store.”
- Dr. Psychobabble
Photo: Taken at a 99 cents store in my ‘hood.
“Some people create with words, or with music, or with a brush and paints. I like to make something beautiful when I run. I like to make people stop and say, “I’ve never seen anyone run like that before.” It’s more than just a race, it’s a style. It’s doing something better than anyone else. It’s being creative.”
- Steve Prefontaine
I woke up this morning and ran 17 miles. It was life altering. It’s more than a run. It’s a style.
Photo: Taken from the Manhattan Bridge during my 3 bridge run today.
“We must accept life for what it actually is – a challenge to our quality without which we should never know of what stuff we are made, or grow to our full stature.”
- Robert Louis Stevenson
It’s 10:00 am. I am home post-call from a night at the hospital. I did not get much sleep. However, I did fall asleep for an hour or so and when I awoke I had many pages and missed calls from my attending. Turns out I had gotten a consult but somehow slept through the pages and calls. This is strange. This has never happened to me before. My attending was very upset. I felt like crap and like a failure. It sucked.
But I saw the consult. I feel like I may have even done some good. That helped.
Anyhoos, it’s time for food and sleep. Nitey, world!
Photo: My “Kendra Look-Alikes” taken at a get together at my apartment with my fellow “psychos” last week.
Miles run: 15
Bridge crossings: 4
Borough changes: 5
Running on a Saturday with my two doggies in perfect weather: Priceless
First off, happy 11 11 11!
Secondly, I still have not found a way to make my daily links auto-update again, so here is a list of links posted, old-fashioned style. Some are oldies, but goodies.