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“I’m one of those regular weird people.”
- Janis Joplin
Great day of lectures today. Went for a run in the cold rain. I truly love living on top of a subway station. I’m just one of those regular weird people.
Photo: Subway platform taken from my kitchen window.
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“You start a conversation you can’t even finish it.
You’re talkin’ a lot, but you’re not sayin’ anything.
When I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed.
Say something once, why say it again?Psycho Killer,
Qu’est-ce que c’est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away
Psycho Killer
Qu’est-ce que c’est
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better
Run run run run run run run away”- Lyrics to “Psycho Killer” by the Talking Heads
Today was an epic day. I mean, really great. I just got home from the hospital. It was a 15-hour day. Was on call. Not horrible. Speaking in short sentences because that works with my brain.
My day went something like this. Walked to the hospital. Got sign out. Had a philosophical conversation with my attending about achieving one’s purpose in life and subatomic particles and such. Saw an interesting consult where I really connected with the patient. Did some other things. Went to an residency applicant lunch where I got to answer some questions. Went to a great Grand Rounds on the subject of violence in first break psychosis (hence the quote above). Followed up on some patients. Consoled a family and obtained information from them. Did some teaching in between. Went on call. Saw another interesting case and possibly even did some good. Was asked by my patient if I could be her out-patient doc. Taught a medical student. Took a strange phone call. Made a strange phone call. Did some faxing. Did some follow ups. Walked home.
Yes, I’m talking a lot but not saying much.
I’m sorry, but all the good stuff is in between the lines.
Time to eat!
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“Everybody’s talking at me
I don’t hear a word they’re saying
Only the echoes of my mindPeople stopping staring
I can’t see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyesI’m going where the sun keeps shining
Thru’ the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes
Backing off of the North East wind
Sailing on summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone”- Lyrics to “Everybody’s Talkin” by Harry Nilsson
Hello blog, I have missed you. I’ve been a busy bee lately.
I continue to enjoy my addiction psychiatry rotation. I continue to abhor the commute. I drive because it saves me tons of time, but I absolutely hate driving. I miss my walks. I miss my trash photography. I dread the stress involved with driving. I can’t help but think about how horrible for mental health driving is.
I went for a run around the park today after work. It uplifted me. I continue to run in shorts despite the frigid weather. Call me crazy, everyone else does. For some reason, people see me in my shorts and are compelled to “talk at me.” “Aren’t you cold?” they ask. Apparently they don’t realize that I’m not. The feeling of the cold air against my blood-infused legs inspires me and lifts me higher. It challenges me to go faster, run harder.
Lately, I have found myself missing “pure” psychiatric patients. Most of my patients don’t have an “Axis I” diagnosis, other than their substance abuse. And many of them have antisocial personality disorder. A challenging population to work with, indeed. More to come on that topic, soon. Promise.
For now, it’s leftover eating and study time!
Photo: “Door out of order.” Taken last week as I entered my subway station.
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“The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream.”
- Harry Kemp“I’m convinced that in New York City, there are more 99 Cents stores than there are people.”
- Dr. Psychobabble“I had no idea that I needed a a singing and dancing Buddha until I found one at the 99 Cents store.”
- Dr. Psychobabble
Photo: Taken at a 99 cents store in my ‘hood.
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“Some people create with words, or with music, or with a brush and paints. I like to make something beautiful when I run. I like to make people stop and say, “I’ve never seen anyone run like that before.” It’s more than just a race, it’s a style. It’s doing something better than anyone else. It’s being creative.”
- Steve Prefontaine
I woke up this morning and ran 17 miles. It was life altering. It’s more than a run. It’s a style.
Photo: Taken from the Manhattan Bridge during my 3 bridge run today.
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Miles run: 15
Bridge crossings: 4
Borough changes: 5
Running on a Saturday with my two doggies in perfect weather: Priceless
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“No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.”
- Hunter S. Thompson
Today was rejuvenating. November is officially my dedicated “research month.” What exactly does that mean? Good question. Well, my residency program is actually super cool in that it provides a dedicated month during your PGY-2 year where you pretty much spend the entire month doing research. It’s actually even cooler than it sounds. You get to work with a mentor (mine happens to be awesome) on a research project, which may or may not eventually result in a poster presentation or paper. However, the real “meat” is that although you may not discover the cure to all cancer during your one dedicated month, you end up dabbling in enough research and learning enough to ignite a passion or develop a plan to continue working on research if you so desire. It’s actually a pretty awesome idea, which has served to inspire many residents before me. In addition to working on research this month, I am responsible for supporting our department’s weekly Grand Rounds, and I will be on call every Sunday night. Not a bad deal, at all.
In fact, the only side effect of research month is that there are many days where I don’t actually have to leave my apartment if I don’t want to. I can work on a lot of the research from the comfort of my own home and in my jammies. This is totally awesome, however I realized today that this has an unintended side effect. If I’m not forced to get up at the break of dawn, shower, get dressed, and leave my apartment, it turns out that I don’t. I may get a lot of things accomplished, but I also miss out on “world exploration.” This occurred to me today during my walk to the hospital. I realized that I was quite rejuvenated and excited about walking to work, experiencing the world, and having the opportunity to take photos (see above).
So, today was a great day. Every Thursday, us residents have a dedicated day for didactics. In addition to experiencing some much needed human contact, I learned some cool stuff as well. For example:
1. High Expressed Emotion (EE) can involve emotional over-involvement by family members who blame themselves for a family member’s mental illness, and this can have a negative effect on the patient.
2. Treatment fidelity has to do with how accurately or faithfully a program (or intervention) is reproduced from a manual, protocol or model.
3. Antisocial Personality Disorder is considered the “grandfather” of personality disorders in that it was the first personality disorder to be identified in the DSM.
I’ve been attempting to save moulah and cook dinner for the past week. But tonight is time for celebration and hence time to order sushi (I’m very good at rationalizing). So, this is me signing off. Time to take counsel from the uncooked fishies…
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“If human beings had genuine courage, they’d wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.”
- Doug Coupland
First of all, happy halloween, world! Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. Yet, I’ve always thought it makes more sense to wear fun costumes every day of the year (see above quote). Really, we all wear costumes every day, but for the most part they are not nearly as fun as the ones we wear on “special days.”
I am back from a conference in San Francisco where I presented, chaired and co-chaired some sessions. I also had an absolute blast sightseeing in what is probably my second favorite city in the United States. I think the highlight was checking out the Sutro Baths, since I had never seen them before. Of course, I also never get sick of spending time around the Golden Gate Bridge and although I did not have the time during this past trip, I hope to add that bridge to my list of “I ran over that” structures in the near future.
Another highlight of my trip was attending the American Association of Community Psychiatrists’ reception at the Central City Hospitality House, which is a fabu organization, which serves the homeless population of San Francisco. From their website:
In addition to providing a broad spectrum of resources to support individuals in ending their own homelessness, Hospitality House addresses homelessness and poverty on the broader social level. We endeavor to unite our participants’ voices to educate the larger community about homelessness and poverty, to distribute power to those on the periphery of public policy making, and to stimulate social change.
During my absence from Brooklyn, there was apparently a snow storm in New York City, which is a pretty strange occurrence during the month of October. It was not so pleasant to travel yesterday from sunny and warm San Francisco to cold and snow covered New York City.
Today was for catching up on my ginormous to-do list and tomorrow I start my “Research Month.” More on that to come. It’s din din time!
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I am very busy right now and only have a few minutes to type. I am packing and preparing for a trip to San Francisco tonight to attend and present at the Institute on Psychiatric Services Annual meeting.
I don’t have any time to say more, but please enjoy these 2 photos taken during the suicide prevention walk on Sunday. And a huge THANKS to everyone who supported my walk! I promise to post more photos and a longer blog post very soon when I have a free moment.
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“Our lives at times seem a study in contrast…love and hate, birth and death, right and wrong…everything seen in absolutes of black and white. Too often we are not aware that it is the shades of grey that add depth and meaning to the starkness of those extremes.”
- Ansel Adams
Today was a day full of contrast.
In our lecture on the Pathophysiology of Schizophrenia, we learned about how people with schizophrenia see a more “muted” world, and can better appreciate “contrast” with their visual systems.
On my walk to the hospital, it was cloudy. On my walk home, it was quite sunny.
My neighborhood is always full of wonderful contrasts. This is one of the reasons I love New York City, and Brooklyn. My neighborhood is predominantly inhabited by Afro-Carribean folks. But today, as I walked my dogs through the park, there were literally hundreds of Hasidic Jews in long black suits and hats singing and celebrating “Simchat Torah.” The contrast of the runners in their sporty outfits, the Caribbean folks drumming their drums with long dreadlocks, and the Hasidic Jewish folk marching in their black suits with tzitzis flapping in the wind brings me great joy.
Different. Yet the same. Shades of grey add depth.
Photo: Taken on my walk home today.