Doctor Psychobabble

“I don’t ever wanna feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
I don’t ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all that way (yeah yeah yeah)”

- Lyrics to “Under the Bridge” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

My most sincere apologies for my absence as of late. Life has thrown my in a tail spin and my site went down at the same time. I hope to have it pretty and nice again, but for now, please forgive the mess.

I just wanted the world to know that I am alive, and kickin.

Just got home from a long day on call at the hospital. I love my job. It couldn’t be more awesome if it tried.

I am trying to make lemonade.

Photo: My baby boy Scope chillin at the farm last week.

I just got home from a long day of psychiatric consults at the hospital. For one reason or another, I was massively swamped with work today. Non-stop pager explosion. Could most definitely have something to do with today being Valentine’s Day. Sadly ironic that many psychiatric complaints were filed on this day.

I am tired. I am hungry. I will leave the rest to your imagination.

Favorite interaction today from a delirious patient I was called to evaluate:

Me: “What is today’s date?”
Blind and Demented Patient: “Ooooooooh, baby, I should have bought you flowers!”
Me: “Wait, what do you mean?”
Blind and Demented Patient: “It’s Valentine’s day, baby, and I want you to be my Valentine!”

LOVE my job!

Photo: My doggy Molly in her uber sexy Valentines’s Day pose.

Part of My “Doggy Doos” Photo Collection

“Sheets of empty canvas
Untouched sheets of clay
Were laid spread out before me

Oh the pictures have
All been washed in black
Tattooed everything”

- Lyrics from Pearl Jam, “Black”

I tried to watch the Super Bowl tonight. I couldn’t care less about it, but wanted to be a true American and try and love it, so I went to a bar that was playing it (I don’t have a television). I thought I would at least enjoy the commercials. But they only solidified my expectations: crap wrapped in marketing poo poo! And served with a side of brainwashing.

Sorry to all you Super Bowl lovers…I’m sure I’ll get some hate mail from this post. But I’d rather listen to Pearl Jam and dance with my doggy on a Sunday night! (Go Giants!)

“I just realized that I’m cognitively promiscuous.”

- Dr. Psychobabble

Life has been busy but incredibly awesome as of late. Yesterday, I went to see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway with my fellow “psychos.” I realized that I’m not a huge fan of the Phantom, per se, but I am a huge fan of Broadway shows, especially when the tickets are complimentary.

Today was the first day of a new rotation for me. I am still rotating in consultation liaison psychiatry, but I’m at a different hospital, so it’s added a new perspective and spice. I was then on call at another hospital and just arrived home a few minutes ago.

I had a ridiculously silly consult tonight, and would kill to provide the details, but the damn HIPAA prevents me from doing so. What I can say is that it involved a Ouija board and a misunderstanding. I have the funnest job in the entire universe. Seriously. And you could never make up the things I see. They are simply larger than life.

Time to order some sushi and chow down. I realized today that I am not alone in my sushi addiction, and that makes me happy. It’s good to not be alone.

Here is a random list of stuff “learned” today:

1. Trash makes me happy.

2. Cognitive promiscuity makes me happy.

3. I have the best job there is.

4. Just because a hospitalist thinks a patient has decision making capacity doesn’t make it so.

5. I’m not half bad at reading brain MRIs.

6. When the nurses don’t know me at a hospital, they are at first confused as to why some crazy looking chick is walking around asking questions and talking to patients, but they then become excited to know that I’m a doctor and psychiatrist-in-training.

7. I “get” non-verbal communication on a profoundly deep level.

8. Having an easily accessible fridge at work is a good thing.

9. Haldol is a darn amazing medication.

10. Mostly, people just want someone to talk to.

11. I don’t even want to attempt to imagine life without dogs.

Photo: Taken in Times Square last night after enjoying the Phantom.

“I think life’s an irrational obsession.”

- Sean Penn

I am currently home and post-call for the day. A long, but wonderful day performing psychiatric consults.

I have an obsessive personality. Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes it’s bad. I realized just now that I was obsessing about the last consult that I saw today. I forgot to ask a few questions that might have been pertinent. Probably not, but still I should have asked. So I continue to review the “what ifs” in my mind, but try to comfort myself with the idea that I still did a good job.

I continue to love psychiatric consults. I must admit that I do love catching problems overlooked by the medical team and enjoy educating the requesting docs on how something is “not psychiatric but medical.”

I also continue to also be obsessed with all things canine, especially my lover, see above photo.

I realize that this post is completely jumbled and stream of consciousness. But this is where my mind takes me tonight.

Time to assemble a hummus platter and catch up on my sleep before tomorrow….

Part of My “Doggy Doos” Photo Collection

“And for the few that only lend their ear, That few is all the world.”

- Samuel Daniel

I just got home from a somewhat long but definitely tiring day of work at the hospital on the psychiatry consultation liaison service. I feel as though lately I have a million awesome thoughts flying through my mind during the day but by the time I get home and sit down in front of my computer, I forget most of them. Since making lists always seems to inspire me, here is a random list of thoughts from this week:

1. I am happy to be walking to work again. I was forced to drive to work last month, and I think it destroyed a part of me. Hitting the pavement again makes me happy.

2. One of the attendings that I work with is simply too amazing to put into words. She’s brilliant and creative and never hesitates to dive headfirst into a deep philosophical conversation.

3. I love working with medical students and teaching. I’m lucky to have 2 med students with me this month. They keep me honest, keep me on my toes, and keep me thinking.

4. Psychiatry remains the coolest field out there. If only HIPAA weren’t in my way…I have SO MANY fascinating patient stories to share.

5. Cheap happy hour drinks with my fellow “psychos” is something wonderful to look forward to every week.

6. If I don’t run soon, I will implode. (Have been resting my injured ankle but hoping to give it a spin this weekend.)

7. Calming an agitated patient with words instead of medications is good for the patient, and the doctor.

8. I think my doggies get me better than any humans ever will.

9. The clothes don’t make the person, the person makes the clothes.

10. Sometimes I feel bad for using my blog to get things off of my chest. But the world makes for such a lovely bended ear.

I’m on call tomorrow, so it’s time for me to discover some leftovers in my fridge and subdue my brain with some non-intellectual Netflix watchin!

Photo: Taken a few doors down from my new office.

I continue to enjoy my rotation in addiction psychiatry. I’m busy tonight preparing for a journal club presentation tomorrow and making food for our non-denominational holiday party.

So, in lieu of exciting stories, I will leave you with some great quotes from my patients. There have been so many more awesome ones, but I usually forget to write them down. Enjoy!

“So I gave up and sang the addict’s anthem – F*** it!”

“My drug addiction was at it’s worst when I decided that I wanted to be like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.”

“Why am I here? Well doc, I was knock knock knockin on heaven’s door.”

“How could anything be wrong? I was living the crack addict’s dream!”

Photo: My mom’s doggy Sebastian. “All the other doggies called him names!”

I have been going back and forth in my mind for the past week about whether or not to share something personal on my blog. When is something just too personal to share with the whole world? Is it even appropriate? But I have 2 major problems with not sharing. 1) It will be hard for it not to just come out accidentally in one way or another and 2) whether it’s appropriate or not, my blog is my therapeutic space. I can talk about stuff to my friends all night and day but for some reason, it feels so good to type it all out.

Anyway, here goes.

One week ago my partner and I decided to separate. We are still figuring out exactly what that means. But as I had actual time to move and such, I forfeited visiting my family for Thanksgiving and have instead spent the last week acquiring a new apartment, moving in, acquiring furniture, putting stuff away, and doing all those daunting things involved with moving to a new place. It’s been a fatiguing whirlwind few days.

So, there it is.

I’m now basically moved in and just got internets, so am finally able to catch up on my emails and other activities. I have to go into the hospital tonight for call.

I don’t even know how I feel about everything right now. Basically I’m trying to stay busy so I don’t have to think.

That is all for now. Hopefully once I get back into my daily routine and go for a few long runs (I have been too busy to do so for the past week), things will all start falling into place.

Photo: My doggy Scope hiding under the covers, pre-move.

Miles run: 15
Bridge crossings: 4
Borough changes: 5
Running on a Saturday with my two doggies in perfect weather: Priceless

“Shall sleep no more, Macbeth shall sleep no more!”

- William Shakespeare, Macbeth

Soooooo tired. It’s 11:00 am. I am post-call. Have not slept in a very long time. Need sleep and food. That is all.

Photo: “Squirrel Head” Molly

Part of My “Doggy Doos” Photo Series